The Ballad of Yamcha
by Warner Hedgehog
Summary: Yamcha knows he will never attain a Saiyan-like power level, and is feeling somewhat lost. Does he need a new direction in his life?
1. Part 1

_**The Ballad of Yamcha**_

Yamcha was standing by a lake. He assumed a stance and started to focus. Suddenly he thrust his arms out and sent an energy wake across the water. Using his hands and mind he controlled its direction for a while before making it dissipate with a gesture.

"Bloody Saiyans" He muttered to himself, "Damn near infinite power resources and all those super Saiyan levels. Smug gits."

Yamcha wasn't a happy bunny. He'd witnessed many a fight involving Goku and Vegeta and was feeling somewhat jealous. He was certain it was possible to do something similar, but had no idea how.

Maybe a Saiyan blood transfusion, an eternity of training and 1000 times gravity possibly.

It was all so bloody frustrating.

He could do some of their tricks, why not the Super Saiyan one?

Ability to fly: check.

Energy blasts: check.

Kamahamaha: check.

He went over to a nearby rock and sat down. Was there an answer? He'd done weighted training, he'd done higher gravity and he's done endless sparring with a never ending string of people.

Add to that King Kai, that bloody Mr. Popo and a handful of other non-human training agencies and it seemed he'd done more training that most.

Puar flew over to him. "What's up Yamcha?" asked the feline.

"It's all this Super Saiyan malarkey" moaned Yamcha, "Do they know how irritating it is not to be able to transform to a more powerful version of yourself?"

"Probably not" replied the flying cat. "But then Goku had to witness Krillin dying before he could go on the super trip."

"Yeah." Yamcha looked up at his friend, "Don't you go getting yourself killed on my account."

"Didn't particularly intend to." Puar responded.

"Oh, sod this!" Yamcha exclaimed, "Let's go into town and get a drink."

Yamcha stood up and Puar settled on his shoulder. Together they went over to their car and made their way into town to find a bar.

2 hours later they were sitting in a corner of Wanda's Jukebox having a quiet drink and gossiping about the other Z Fighters when one of the local scumbags barged his way into the tavern and loudly demanded a drink from the barmaid.

She poured it out and put it on the bar. Without paying he picked it up and downed it in one go and slammed the glass on the counter, shattering glass everywhere. "Look what you made me do!" He shouted and proceeded to try to grab her.

Yamcha stood up and walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. The thug was about half a foot taller that Yamcha and a foot wider. He turned around and glowered. "What do you want shorty?"

"Peace and quiet. You aren't helping." Came the reply.

The barmaid tried to intervene "Please, I don't want a fight." She started to say.

The thug turned to her., "Shut up you, if I want your opinion I'll tell you." He reached over to strike her, but Yamcha grabbed his arm before he could.

"Outside, duck face," he said. With a quick movement he spun the thug around and kicked him up the rump, causing the big man to stumble out of the door. Yamcha calmly followed. Before he went through the door he turned to the barmaid, "Sorry about this" he said and walked out.

Outside the Thug had just picked himself off the floor and was just about to attack the group of surprised onlookers when he saw his new enemy appear. "Just who the hell do you think you are? Don't you know who I am?" he shouted.

"Should I?"

The big man seemed to get angrier. "How d'you wants your funeral to go?" he laughed.

"Well, after yours seems like a good idea, you big goon." Yamcha calmly replied.

"HA!" Yelled the big bully, and swung his big fist at Yamcha, who easily evaded the attack.

"What's your name, big boy?" Yamcha asked.

"I'm Beeve, And I'm gonna flatten you, pipsqueak!" With a yell, he charged. Yamcha sidestepped, grabbed Beeve's arm and swung him around before slamming him into the ground.

"Word to the wise, oh sorry I forgot you were an idiot, word to the moronic. Give up and go home now. I hate to see a big goof cry in pain." Yamcha stated.

"Why you!" Shouted Beeve. He leapt to his feet and threw a punch straight at Yamcha's face. Yamcha grabbed Beeve's fist and held it tight. "Are you sure you want to carry this stupid charade on? I'm still giving you the chance to stop. You haven't hit me yet, and aren't likely to, and if you do it really wouldn't mean much. If I hit you however, it'll be a different story."

"You are going to PAY!" Beeve roared. He swung his other fist, which Yamcha again dodged. This time he let go of Beeve's hand and punched the big man gently in the stomach. Beeve folded up with a whimpering noise.

The Z fighter crouched down and rolled the big man onto his back. I know who you are, but do you know who I am? Have you heard of the World Martial Arts Tournament?"

The still winded big man nodded.

"I'm Yamcha. I've competed in the tournament, you may have heard of me. Be glad I didn't hit you very hard."

Beeve looked at Yamcha in terror.

"Look Beeve. I like this place, and might choose to stay. If I hear of one single incident of you causing anyone any distress or difficulty, I won't be best pleased. Got that?"

Beeve managed a nod.

"Good. Now in a minute when you're able to stand, I would like you to go back into Wendy's here, pay for any damage you caused and apologise to the nice lady behind the bar. If you don't I may have to actually hurt you." He patted Beeve on the shoulder, stood up and walked back into the bar.


	2. Part 2

**Ballad of Yamcha Part 2**

It was a week after Yamcha's encounter with Beeve and news of Beeve's defeat had gotten around quickly. Yamcha was back in the bar chatting to Wendy, the bar's owner when Beeve strode in, followed by four similarly dressed people, all carrying baseball bats.

Yamcha turned to face his new foe, "Why hello Beeve. What brings you here? Judging by the four posers you've brought with you, I presume you don't intend to beg for forgiveness?"

Beeve stared at his opponent, "You made me look like a fool. You are going to die today Yamcha." He roared ,and then more calmly he said "First my friends here are going to beat the crap out of you, then I'm going to finish you off." He pulled his own bat off of his back. Someone had rammed a load of nails through the end.

"Oh brother you guys crack me up," laughed Yamcha "When you're all on the ground crying in pain, who's going to pay Wendy here for all the damage? Don't answer that. I'm sure I'll find a way to make you pay her when we're done." Without taking his eyes off of the four bat-wielders he said to Wendy, "Sorry about this, hopefully there won't be too much to repair. You'd best get to cover." Wendy retreated to the back room as Yamcha eyed up his four immediate opponents.

"Who's first?" he said. Suddenly he struck the closest one in the in the stomach and without pausing did a quick spin and smashed the next closest in the face. The remaining two looked at Yamcha with fear. "You two had best run away now if you know what's good for you." He stated.

Beeve shouted at them "If you run away I will find you and kill you. Get him NOW!"

One of them swung his bat hard, which Yamcha grabbed and swung around, dragging it's user with it. The helpless lackey slammed into the last bat-wielder hard, sending them flying.

"It's you and me Beeve you big lummox, and if you think that spiky toy will help you, then think again," said Yamcha.

"Damn you to hell" Beeve growled, before launching himself forward, spiky club raised to strike.

Taking care not to hit him too hard, Yamcha hit Beeve in the chest with a Ki blast, sending the unfortunate bully into the door, which was reduced to so much wrecked wood.

Yamcha strode out through the ruined portal to carry on dealing with Beeve. He found the big man apparently unconscious on the ground. He bent down and picked up Beeve's club, when a hand grabbed his leg. He looked down and said "Oh please."

Beeve was looking up at him and growling "I will kill you," he muttered.

Yamcha opened his palm and released a small solar flare-like energy ball, which elicited an 'aaaagh' from Beeve.

Yamcha threw the club into a nearby trash can and picked Beeve up with one hand, and held him up so that his feet were off the ground.

"Look Beeve. I could so _easily_ have killed you just now, only I dont really want to. As you may be able to tell, I can hold you off the ground without much effort. And I threw you out of that door just now without physically touching you. Do you think you stand a chance hmmm?" Yamcha dropped Beeve to the ground. "Oh yeah, you and your four berks owe Wendy for the door." With that he turned around and went to see if Wendy was alright. One of Beeve's lackeys was slowly trying to stand up. Yamcha helped him to his feet and told him to go take his fallen leader home and to try to talk some sense into him.

The following day Yamcha and Puar were sitting by the lake. "What's the answer Puar?" asked Yamcha.

"If it's the Sayian thing, you need to seek out a wise man or something. If it's Beeve, then you have to talk to him. Face it Yamcha, he's the sort of person who will use escalating levels of violence to get what he's after unless you either kill him or diffuse the whole thing before it goes mad." responded the shape-shifter.

"That's not a bad idea y'know. Any idea where the big lummox hangs out?"

"Not a clue. We can ask about, someone might know something. Maybe Wendy might have some information," winked the flying feline.

"Yeah, yeah. So I might like Wendy. No need to go with the playground stuff. Let's go ask her."

They drove back into town and went straight to Wendy's bar.

About an hour after going to the bar they left, with a fair idea of where to find Beeve. It turned out that his regular hang out was a gym a few streets away. They went straight there and had a quick peek through a window before going in. They spotted Beeve who was pounding the hell out of a punch-bag.

"Let's go see the big goof." Yamcha said. They went in.


End file.
